I Want to Run

Time to clean. Time to work. Time to sleep. Time to run.

Run.

I find no time. No time to clean. No time to work. No time to sleep. No time to run.

I must run. I will run. I will make time.

Week 3... almost done. I scramble to fit in the long runs. I will run tomorrow- 5 miles.

5 miles.

That is what I run. Amazing. 3 weeks ago, I ran nothing. Tomorrow I run 5 in the frigid northern air.

I will freeze. Droplets will freeze in my hair. My fingers will go numb. I will run regardless.

I choose to run.

I will run.

I want to run.

It clears my head. It clears my body. It helps me think.

I will run 5 miles tomorrow.

Camo Pants

I Run for Me

I must run tomorrow. I will run tomorrow. I am running tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I am not increasing my distance. I am not upping my pace. I am simply running. Feet pounding. Breathe forced. Legs burning. Running. Running. Running.

That is what zigzags through my head as I plan my tomorrow. Looking forward to it? Not necessarily. Dreading it? Not that either. Just plain old acceptance. I will run. I must run. I am running.

I love the freedom that comes amidst the work of running. I think when I run. I focus only on myself. 

My thoughts.

My actions.

My life.

I push myself. It is between my mind and my body. No one is asked their opinion. For those sacred minutes- I am free to think about me.

Me.

I haven't thought about me exclusively for quite awhile. This is the one area of my life that I do.

I run.

I run for me.

~Camo Pants

I Am In

I run. I eat. I work. I eat. I sleep.

I eat.

It is no wonder that I don't lose weight. I run to feel good. I run because I love it. Thank heavens I don't run to lose weight.

Running was difficult today- my first day of my second week of training. My hip hurt. My heel hurt. My ankle on my other foot hurt. I breathed like I have never run before.

I kept running.

I love that I can say that. I hurt. I ran. I gasped. I ran. I struggled.

I ran.

All this adds up to one thing. It is simple really.

I run so I can eat.

There are amazing benefits to running- eating is just one of them. I feel that this will be hard. My body seconds that opinion. I know this will be hard.

But I am in. Scared.

But In.

~Camo Pants

Old Friend, I am Back

I am in training. This is so exciting to me. I have wanted to figure out my personal running saga for quite some time but have had little luck. Some people run for weight loss- I do not lose when I run. Some run for the inner satisfaction- I probably get some but struggle to pinpoint it. Others run for health reasons- I am healthy.

So why do I run?

I run because I always have.
It is my sport.
My favorite.

My feet pounding on the pavement went into sabbatical when life with all of its beauty edged in and garnered my attention. I set aside my desire and 'ran' simply to keep up with my kids. I ran kids to church. I ran them to the horse barn. I ran them to 4-H and FFA. I ran them to school activities. My running took on a new form. It was good. It was irreplaceable time spent with the most important people in my life.

But I am back.
My feet have returned to their methodic, rhythmic pounding.
And my heart soars.

I have longed for this moment. Amidst all of my busy- I have desired the simple solitude of the leaves crunching under my feet. The noise of my breathing filling my ears. I have missed you old friend. My heart is full.

I bring a friend.
Someone I love.
I bring my son.

He is now my running partner. He is learning the hard earned lessons that the pounding of the pavement bring to life. He is crunching leaves beside me. He is breathing in fall through the eyes of a runner. I love this.

I am back, old friend, I am back.

~Camo Pants