tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69429685498897528102024-03-12T20:43:28.407-07:00Runner EnvyCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-88812671931754142132013-10-27T16:53:00.000-07:002013-10-27T16:54:17.383-07:00I Want to RunTime to clean. Time to work. Time to sleep. Time to run.<br />
<br />
Run.<br />
<br />
I find no time. No time to clean. No time to work. No time to sleep. No time to run.<br />
<br />
I must run. I will run. I will make time. <br />
<br />
Week 3... almost done. I scramble to fit in the long runs. I will run tomorrow- 5 miles.<br />
<br />
5 miles.<br />
<br />
That is what I run. Amazing. 3 weeks ago, I ran nothing. Tomorrow I run 5 in the frigid northern air.<br />
<br />
I will freeze. Droplets will freeze in my hair. My fingers will go numb. I will run regardless.<br />
<br />
I choose to run.<br />
<br />
I will run.<br />
<br />
I want to run.<br />
<br />
It clears my head. It clears my body. It helps me think.<br />
<br />
I will run 5 miles tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Camo PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-32387047395845607492013-10-16T20:18:00.002-07:002013-10-16T20:18:33.835-07:00I Run for MeI must run tomorrow. I will run tomorrow. I am running tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow.<br />
<br />
I am not increasing my distance. I am not upping my pace. I am simply running. Feet pounding. Breathe forced. Legs burning. Running. Running. Running.<br />
<br />
That is what zigzags through my head as I plan my tomorrow. Looking forward to it? Not necessarily. Dreading it? Not that either. Just plain old acceptance. I will run. I must run. I am running.<br />
<br />
I love the freedom that comes amidst the work of running. I think when I run. I focus only on myself. <br />
<br />
My thoughts. <br />
<br />
My actions. <br />
<br />
My life. <br />
<br />
I push myself. It is between my mind and my body. No one is asked their opinion. For those sacred minutes- I am free to think about me.<br />
<br />
Me.<br />
<br />
I haven't thought about me exclusively for quite awhile. This is the one area of my life that I do. <br />
<br />
I run.<br />
<br />
I run for me.<br />
<br />
~Camo PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-54176572161665726042013-10-14T19:53:00.000-07:002013-10-14T19:53:25.691-07:00I Am InI run. I eat. I work. I eat. I sleep. <br />
<br />
I eat.<br />
<br />
It is no wonder that I don't lose weight. I run to feel good. I run because I love it. Thank heavens I don't run to lose weight.<br />
<br />
Running was difficult today- my first day of my second week of training. My hip hurt. My heel hurt. My ankle on my other foot hurt. I breathed like I have never run before. <br />
<br />
I kept running.<br />
<br />
I love that I can say that. I hurt. I ran. I gasped. I ran. I struggled.<br />
<br />
I ran.<br />
<br />
All this adds up to one thing. It is simple really.<br />
<br />
I run so I can eat.<br />
<br />
There are amazing benefits to running- eating is just one of them. I feel that this will be hard. My body seconds that opinion. I know this will be hard. <br />
<br />
But I am in. Scared. <br />
<br />
But In.<br />
<br />
~Camo Pants<br />
<span id="goog_335589376"></span><span id="goog_335589377"></span><br />Camo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-36086686527935193552013-10-10T19:27:00.000-07:002013-10-10T19:35:09.202-07:00Old Friend, I am BackI am in training. This is so exciting to me. I have wanted to figure out my personal running saga for quite some time but have had little luck. Some people run for weight loss- I do not lose when I run. Some run for the inner satisfaction- I probably get some but struggle to pinpoint it. Others run for health reasons- I am healthy.<br />
<br />
So why do I run?<br />
<br />
I run because I always have. <br />
It is my sport. <br />
My favorite.<br />
<br />
My feet pounding on the pavement went into sabbatical when life with all of its beauty edged in and garnered my attention. I set aside my desire and 'ran' simply to keep up with my kids. I ran kids to church. I ran them to the horse barn. I ran them to 4-H and FFA. I ran them to school activities. My running took on a new form. It was good. It was irreplaceable time spent with the most important people in my life.<br />
<br />
But I am back.<br />
My feet have returned to their methodic, rhythmic pounding.<br />
And my heart soars.<br />
<br />
I have longed for this moment. Amidst all of my busy- I have desired the simple solitude of the leaves crunching under my feet. The noise of my breathing filling my ears. I have missed you old friend. My heart is full.<br />
<br />
I bring a friend.<br />
Someone I love.<br />
I bring my son.<br />
<br />
He is now my running partner. He is learning the hard earned lessons that the pounding of the pavement bring to life. He is crunching leaves beside me. He is breathing in fall through the eyes of a runner. I love this.<br />
<br />
I am back, old friend, I am back.<br />
<br />
~Camo PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-16203433049054342202013-03-28T17:55:00.002-07:002013-03-28T18:05:59.654-07:00This Will Be Fun...Right?I have 2 words for you: MUD RUN!!! as a sequel to those initial 2 words, I have 3 more: I AM CRAZY!!!<br />
<br />
I have been talked into this. There is a little part of me that is excited but 8 miles is a long way. I ran 2 1/2 today. It was work. I stand amazed at the power that my friends have over me to convince me that this is a good idea.<br />
"Come one, Angie."<br />
"This will be fun!"<br />
<br />
I think that the worst thing is- I believe them. I do think that this will be fun. There is a small part of me that is looking forward to this test of strength. The good news? I am not certain that I have any. I am counting on the power of adrenaline and caffeine. That should make an interesting combination. Let's hope that I live.<br />
<br />
I did run today. It felt great until I pulled the earphone out of my ear and had to stop in order to reconnect. SO frustrating... I hate headphones but enjoy the music. Ugghhh.<br />
<br />
I will keep you up to date as to my status in the next week- alive or dead...?<br />
<br />
This will be fun. Right?<br />
<br />
~Camo PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-37507040492328463792013-03-16T14:51:00.002-07:002013-03-16T14:51:53.476-07:00That Makes Me HappyToday, I did not run. I planned on running but my daily grind got into the way and the day was gone before I realized. Yesterday, I ran. It was a nice day- about 45 degrees. I think that spring could be coming. This makes me very happy. I love to run in the spring months. It seems that the weather is perfect. I am hoping to kick up my running to at least 5 days a week. I think that would help to make me stronger. Of course the 4 1/2 hours of manual labor helped- I am sure.<br />
<br />
I did have a lot of time to think about my running. "Why am I running?" is the question that reverberates in my head. "Am I trying to lose weight?"<br />
<br />
The answers to both of these questions are longer and require more time and space to formulate. I do know this, I enjoy running. I find value in running. So I run.<br />
<br />
I am not a fast runner. It feels a lot faster while I am doing it but it is by no means a sprint. It doesn't help that my legs are very short and my height is stunted. Yet, I am okay with my body. It serves me well. It is not sick. It rarely gives out on me. I would be doing it a great disservice by call it fat or ugly. I have found that it is neither. Does it have pluses and minuses? Sure. Doesn't everyone? Yet, I ask great things from it, stress it too much and feed it improperly at times. So I push it. I make it work. I make it run.<br />
<br />
It fights back. Sometimes my hips hurt badly when I am done but that doesn't last. I can usually walk it off. I trust that my body will tell me when I can't walk it off and I will listen. I have no choice but to listen. If not, I will hobble on my screwed together ankle. Then I will will take the time to listen. <br />
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As I said earlier, the weather is turning. The birds are returning to the area. The green is coming back. The heart of spring for me is the early afternoon run with the smell of freshness in the air- that makes me happy.<br />
<br />
~Camo PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-20917651918086836402012-01-23T19:57:00.000-08:002012-01-23T20:14:00.381-08:00I Became OneI am <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">embarrassed</span> to admit that I have neglected this blog to the point of starting it, writing for a little bit then dropping it like a hot potato. Rather sad, isn't it?<br /><br />The good news is that while I have not been blogging- I have been running. In fact, last week I ran a HALF MARATHON. Yup, the full 13.1 miles. Since I started this blog and began my journey to becoming a runner, I became one.<br /><br />I have had a lot of running time to focus on what makes a runner. This is what I found, you simply get out and pound the pavement. That is what makes a runner- they do it. I have really enjoyed discovering that I can run. I was afraid that I could not physically do it and had to overcome the mind game that comes with running. I run outside in the snow, rain and sleet. I run in the heat and humidity. I do not run fast but I do run.<br /><br />I have found that I love it. I enjoy the feeling it brings me- the jolt of energy. It is difficult to find energy to complete my tasks some days. The children need me. My husband needs me. My job...well, you get the idea. When I run, the only thing that needs me is me. I focus on myself for that hour 3 times a week. It is an amazing journey for me. I am thinking about a full marathon in October- maybe.<br /><br />Gotta Run~<br /><br />~<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Camo</span> PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-5205863649791305412011-11-14T17:51:00.000-08:002011-11-14T18:01:38.795-08:00I Would Have Rather Been RunningI was going to run 2 1/2 miles today but with the time change it got dark before I got home to complete it. So I hopped on the stationary bike for 48 minutes. Ouch, I think that it worked me harder than running would of. For one thing, the seat is incredibly hard and my buns were bruised by the end. I hope I can figure out how to develop callouses. The second difficulty was that I had to work really hard and my daughter kept coming over and telling me to stop working because I was hurting myself...How do you explain to an 8 year old that the point is to hurt?<br /><br />I would have rather been running-<br /><br />That is actually a good sign. It was rainy and muddy outside today. That is my favorite weather to run in. Tomorrow will start the time when it is more difficult for me to run because we live so far out in the country and are surrounded by fields and woods. I love living here but I have to admit that I don't feel comfortable running down the road on the day that gunshots wake me up in the morning. So I will either take myself to town or break down and buy a treadmill. I really need one but haven't wanted to spend the cash. I feel pretty good with my decision to do the half in January. I worry about my knees though. I have never had trouble with them but now I am. Its just a little bit of trouble so I am limiting my runs to 3x a week and cross training in between.<br /><br />The more I try to enjoy the experience, the closer I get to feeling like I do actually enjoy it. I find that interesting.<br /><br />~<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Camo</span> PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-43998133334975312532011-11-12T15:36:00.000-08:002011-11-12T15:46:15.469-08:00MineI did it. I committed myself. No, not to a mental institute...<br /><br />I committed to running a 13.1 run on January 15, 2011. I am so excited and scared. I am not certain if I am up to this but I really want the bracelet that they are giving for an award. Plus, I knew that if I paid the fee I would run. I was just thinking today as I ran 2 miles at a snail's pace, "Maybe I should find a run to shoot for." This is definitely a run!<br /><br />I do not have a lot of time to train- 8 weeks 3 days exactly. <strong>I can do this</strong>. I cannot wait to get my bracelet. Am I a little crazy to say yes? Definitely. Today as I was running, I was listening to the rhythm of my feet hitting the ground and saying, "Have fun. Enjoy the run. Enjoy the peace."<br /><br />For many, running is something they do to connect with other people. Not for me. I use running to clear my head. I use it to only hear myself- no other voices. I use it to work out the tired frustration that I feel. I cannot invite others into my running world. I cannot go by anyone e<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">lse's</span> expectations.<br /><br />The only voice I want to hear is mine.<br /><br />I'll try to keep you updated on my journey back to the world of running. A world that I stand outside of and watch. One that I want but do not know if I want it enough.<br /><br />I am running 13.1 miles on January 15, 2012.<br /><br />~<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Camo</span> PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-85526740953333280882011-11-07T16:49:00.000-08:002011-11-07T17:09:45.602-08:00The StrugglesI was supposed to run 2 miles today but life got in the way. Total run? None. I am disappointed. It got dark before I even stepped in the house tonight. I plan on getting up before we go to the barn and running the 2 miles. I don't know- I haven't run in the dark much.<br /><br />I still am working through the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">logistics</span> for making my 'dreams' a reality. I think that I struggle the most with making the running time my own and not letting myself get too caught up in the expectations. What can make this round different, I wonder? I really have enjoyed my runs and hope that I am able to focus enough on this to make a decision. Perhaps I am <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">over thinking</span> it?<br /><br />I do think about the other runners. They too must struggle with conflicts, pain and other ailments. Why does it look so easy for them? I know that it is not easy for anyone. It is a choice and I simply must make it. I guess I am not in a particular rush...<br /><br />Running in<br /><br />~<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Camo</span> PantsCamo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-69134378584130953352011-11-06T14:28:00.000-08:002011-11-06T14:38:34.590-08:00RealIt's fitting that a gal ran by my house tonight. This probably does not seem odd to any of you- especially those of you who live in town. Out here, we are the only one of three houses on our road and one is uninhabited.<br /><br />I did run yesterday. It was a good night but I only had a small window to complete it.<br /><br />"How did I do?" You may question...<br /><br />Okay. No more- no less. I ran 1.46 miles. Not fast- not slow. I liked it though. I had a hard time walking this morning at church my ankle was very stiff. This is not unheard of this time of year but the running didn't help I suppose. I want to commit to this thing called running. I really do. I am trying. Pretty soon I will either commit or quit. Hopefully commit. I am looking to run 3 days a week and ride a bike 2. That's 5 days on 2 days off. Doable? Yes, this time of year but what about the summer? I don't even have time to eat in the summer. How am I going to commit then? I want to commit wholeheartedly or deal in the truth that I do not have the time, motivation or whatever that it takes to be a runner...<br /><br />A real runner. That's what I want.<br /><br />~<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">CP</span>Camo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6942968549889752810.post-48046070123849736672011-11-05T19:49:00.000-07:002011-11-05T20:06:00.251-07:00The AcheI sit here tonight with the Runner's World magazine on one side of me, my computer in the middle and an apple core on the other. I have been looking at this blog for an hour and cannot seem to come up with the words of commitment that I so want to hear from myself...<br /><br />This is me- a 4' 10'', cute and a little uncertain.<br /><br />How many times have you heard the next line? <em>I was a runner in high school....</em> That was me. I ran on a cross team for 6 years and track for 5. I was good- for my height. I think that I loved the team more than the running because it was my place. I found a niche. I was not the best runner but a solid 4t<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">h</span> runner on a 5 person team, <em>I was needed.</em><br /><br />Fast forward 17 years, now I am a thirty odd something mother of three. I have struggled to keep fit and am not certain where I rank in it though I know that I would like to shave off a little of the 'baby' fat that my first born left me with (he's 13 now, its about time...) I have lived through a major car accident (leaving me with a fused right ankle,) two special needs adoptions (US and China,) homeschooling and building a house. All good things. All took a toll on my confidence. I sit here tonight trying to commit to being a runner- really being one. I am scared. I have a lot on my plate. I am not the typical runner build. I do not have the time. Though all of these sound hollow- they are true.<br /><br />I ran Chicago Marathon in '06 and '07. That has been awhile ago and I did not really train for either of those. I just went out on the day of and ran until I couldn't anymore- then ran some more. It was fun but it didn't make a runner out of me. It showed me that I had something to prove. Now I ache for something more. I want to run because I enjoy it. I want to run to shave off that extra. I want to be a runner.<br /><br />I am just not certain that I can be.<br /><br />~<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">CP</span>Camo Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902575450381605597noreply@blogger.com0