I Want to Run

Time to clean. Time to work. Time to sleep. Time to run.

Run.

I find no time. No time to clean. No time to work. No time to sleep. No time to run.

I must run. I will run. I will make time.

Week 3... almost done. I scramble to fit in the long runs. I will run tomorrow- 5 miles.

5 miles.

That is what I run. Amazing. 3 weeks ago, I ran nothing. Tomorrow I run 5 in the frigid northern air.

I will freeze. Droplets will freeze in my hair. My fingers will go numb. I will run regardless.

I choose to run.

I will run.

I want to run.

It clears my head. It clears my body. It helps me think.

I will run 5 miles tomorrow.

Camo Pants

I Run for Me

I must run tomorrow. I will run tomorrow. I am running tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I am not increasing my distance. I am not upping my pace. I am simply running. Feet pounding. Breathe forced. Legs burning. Running. Running. Running.

That is what zigzags through my head as I plan my tomorrow. Looking forward to it? Not necessarily. Dreading it? Not that either. Just plain old acceptance. I will run. I must run. I am running.

I love the freedom that comes amidst the work of running. I think when I run. I focus only on myself. 

My thoughts.

My actions.

My life.

I push myself. It is between my mind and my body. No one is asked their opinion. For those sacred minutes- I am free to think about me.

Me.

I haven't thought about me exclusively for quite awhile. This is the one area of my life that I do.

I run.

I run for me.

~Camo Pants

I Am In

I run. I eat. I work. I eat. I sleep.

I eat.

It is no wonder that I don't lose weight. I run to feel good. I run because I love it. Thank heavens I don't run to lose weight.

Running was difficult today- my first day of my second week of training. My hip hurt. My heel hurt. My ankle on my other foot hurt. I breathed like I have never run before.

I kept running.

I love that I can say that. I hurt. I ran. I gasped. I ran. I struggled.

I ran.

All this adds up to one thing. It is simple really.

I run so I can eat.

There are amazing benefits to running- eating is just one of them. I feel that this will be hard. My body seconds that opinion. I know this will be hard.

But I am in. Scared.

But In.

~Camo Pants

Old Friend, I am Back

I am in training. This is so exciting to me. I have wanted to figure out my personal running saga for quite some time but have had little luck. Some people run for weight loss- I do not lose when I run. Some run for the inner satisfaction- I probably get some but struggle to pinpoint it. Others run for health reasons- I am healthy.

So why do I run?

I run because I always have.
It is my sport.
My favorite.

My feet pounding on the pavement went into sabbatical when life with all of its beauty edged in and garnered my attention. I set aside my desire and 'ran' simply to keep up with my kids. I ran kids to church. I ran them to the horse barn. I ran them to 4-H and FFA. I ran them to school activities. My running took on a new form. It was good. It was irreplaceable time spent with the most important people in my life.

But I am back.
My feet have returned to their methodic, rhythmic pounding.
And my heart soars.

I have longed for this moment. Amidst all of my busy- I have desired the simple solitude of the leaves crunching under my feet. The noise of my breathing filling my ears. I have missed you old friend. My heart is full.

I bring a friend.
Someone I love.
I bring my son.

He is now my running partner. He is learning the hard earned lessons that the pounding of the pavement bring to life. He is crunching leaves beside me. He is breathing in fall through the eyes of a runner. I love this.

I am back, old friend, I am back.

~Camo Pants

This Will Be Fun...Right?

I have 2 words for you: MUD RUN!!! as a sequel to those initial 2 words, I have 3 more: I AM CRAZY!!!

I have been talked into this. There is a little part of me that is excited but 8 miles is a long way. I ran 2 1/2 today. It was work. I stand amazed at the power that my friends have over me to convince me that this is a good idea.
 "Come one, Angie."
"This will be fun!"

I think that the worst thing is- I believe them. I do think that this will be fun. There is a small part of me that is looking forward to this test of strength. The good news? I am not certain that I have any. I am counting on the power of adrenaline and caffeine. That should make an interesting combination. Let's hope that I live.

I did run today. It felt great until I pulled the earphone out of my ear and had to stop in order to reconnect. SO frustrating... I hate headphones but enjoy the music. Ugghhh.

I will keep you up to date as to my status in the next week- alive or dead...?

This will be fun. Right?

~Camo Pants

That Makes Me Happy

Today, I did not run. I planned on running but my daily grind got into the way and the day was gone before I realized. Yesterday, I ran. It was a nice day- about 45 degrees. I think that spring could be coming. This makes me very happy. I love to run in the spring months. It seems that the weather is perfect. I am hoping to kick up my running to at least 5 days a week. I think that would help to make me stronger. Of course the 4 1/2 hours of manual labor helped- I am sure.

I did have a lot of time to think about my running. "Why am I running?" is the question that reverberates in my head. "Am I trying to lose weight?"

The answers to both of these questions are longer and require more time and space to formulate. I do know this, I enjoy running. I find value in running. So I run.

I am not a fast runner. It feels a lot faster while I am doing it but it is by no means a sprint. It doesn't help that my legs are very short and my height is stunted. Yet, I am okay with my body. It serves me well. It is not sick. It rarely gives out on me. I would be doing it a great disservice by call it fat or ugly. I have found that it is neither. Does it have pluses and minuses? Sure. Doesn't everyone? Yet, I ask great things from it, stress it too much and feed it improperly at times. So I push it. I make it work. I make it run.

It fights back. Sometimes my hips hurt badly when I am done but that doesn't last. I can usually walk it off. I trust that my body will tell me when I can't walk it off and I will listen. I have no choice but to listen. If not, I will hobble on my screwed together ankle. Then I will will take the time to listen.

As I said earlier, the weather is turning. The birds are returning to the area. The green is coming back. The heart of spring for me is the early afternoon run with the smell of freshness in the air- that makes me happy.

~Camo Pants